What's Your Conflict Style?


Conflict Styles

Thomas and Kilmann developed a tool to measure conflict styles called the Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument (TKI). They identified five styles of conflict management: avoiding, accommodating, competing, compromising, and collaborating.

None of these styles are necessarily "good" or "bad,” and we all probably use most of these styles at least some of the time. However, we will tend to have a dominant style or one we use the most. Additionally, some research has shown that the collaborating style often works better in relationships.

This tool was adapted from a test created by Reginald Adkins, PhD, who based his test on the original TKI.

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Conflict Styles Assessment Questions


Answer all the questions below, and then click the submit button, and you will receive results that estimate your most frequently used (dominant) style to your least frequently used style.

1. I discuss issues with others to try to find solutions that meet everyone's needs.
RarelySometimesOftenAlways
2. I try to negotiate and use a give-and-take approach to problem situations.
RarelySometimesOftenAlways
3. I try to meet the expectations of others.
RarelySometimesOftenAlways
4. I would argue my case and insist on the advantages of my point of view.
RarelySometimesOftenAlways
5. When there is a disagreement, I gather as much information as I can and keep the lines of communication open.
RarelySometimesOftenAlways
6. When I find myself in an argument, I usually say very little and try to leave as soon as possible.
RarelySometimesOftenAlways
7. I try to see conflicts from both sides. What do I need? What does the other person need? What are the issues involved?
RarelySometimesOftenAlways
8. I prefer to compromise when solving problems and just move on.
RarelySometimesOftenAlways
9. I find conflicts exhilarating; I enjoy the battle of wits that usually follows.
RarelySometimesOftenAlways
10. Being in a disagreement with other people makes me feel uncomfortable and anxious.
RarelySometimesOftenAlways
11. I try to meet the wishes of my friends and family.
RarelySometimesOftenAlways
12. I can figure out what needs to be done and I am usually right.
RarelySometimesOftenAlways
13. To break deadlocks, I would meet people halfway.
RarelySometimesOftenAlways
14. I may not get what I want but it’s a small price to pay for keeping the peace.
RarelySometimesOftenAlways
15. I avoid hard feelings by keeping my disagreements with others to myself.
RarelySometimesOftenAlways

Disclaimer

This survey and the information provided here are intended for informational purposes only. They are not a substitute for professional help. This survey can offer insights into your relationship, but should not be used as a standalone tool to diagnose or treat relationship issues. If you are experiencing relationship difficulties, you can schedule a free consultation or consult with another qualified couple’s counselor for support.

  



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